What a scary word 'Syndrome', continued

The next morning when I walked in the Bay, the Family Resource Nurse noticed that I was quite upset and that I couldn’t stop crying, even though I would try my best not to so Cecilia wouldn’t see me.

I explained to her everything that was happening and that I felt hopeless and lost. There was nothing in my power to stop everything that was happening. I just didn’t want Cecilia to go through this nightmare. Once again I was in HELL!!!!

She tried to make me feel better even though there wasn’t much she could say, no one could because no one knew what was going on with Ceci.

Later that morning I was approached by Social Worker (first time ever since Cecilia was in New Born Services) and she asked me if we could have a chat in private.

She told me that she hadn’t approached me before because she had asked nurses how Manuel and I were copping and the nurses said that we looked as we were fine. I still can’t believe how they could think that I was copping just because I was not crying all the time or looking like a zombie. Now I have learned (the hard way) that if you are not approached by a Social Worker you can request one and if you are not happy with the one that you have been assigned with you can request someone else.

I still had a chat with her, better said a big cry, but there wasn’t much she could offer me. The only thing that she mentioned was that she was going to try to speak to the doctors and get them to speak to me.

With Manuel we tried not to think about the syndrome for those 10 days. We just wanted to enjoy Cecilia as much as possible and keep on seeing her the way we always did, Perfect!!!

Thankfully Cecilia kept on growing and putting on weight, even though we were still having issues with breast feeding.

Also Cecilia had her second hearing screening which this time I was present. Ceci didn’t pass this one either so she now had to have a proper Hearing Test with an Audiologist. By this stage I was so worried about the Syndrome that I really didn’t take much noticed on the hearing side of things and also I didn’t want to start thinking about this until she had her proper test with the Audiologist.

During this 10 day wait Cecilia was moved to Bay 1 which was a great sign that it wasn’t going to be to long for her to go home.

Finally the day came; (we were bathing Cecilia that afternoon it was a really sunny day) when her Neonatal Consultant and the Family Resource Nurse came in to give us the great news that the test came back as negative. Both Manuel and I started to cry of happiness. Manuel was correct, she didn’t have that syndrome. So now we had to start concentrating in getting Cecilia’s weight up so we could take her home even if this meant that she would have to come home with the NGT.