Due to my last period we believed that my due date was 28th September but when I had my first ultrasound it showed I was only 6 weeks pregnant and that I was due on 6th October 2008.
Everything seemed to be going well; I had no morning sickness, no crazy cravings, or heartburns. I just felt hungry all the time and ate anything that I could.
The truth is to be said, I didn’t enjoy being pregnant. I felt tired all the time, fat, restless, without energy, bloated, invaded, having to get up in the middle of night 5 times, not able to sleep properly, my body not being my body, the list is endless. I was really looking forward to giving birth; I wanted the months to fly. Now I know that not enjoying being pregnant has nothing to do on how much you love that little person inside you. Only I know how much I love Cecilia and that I have done everything in my power for her to be happy.
At my 12 weeks ultrasound everything appeared to be fine and they told me I was due on 4th October. So far I had three different dates!!
We were really excited when my 20 week ultrasound had come up. We really wanted to know the baby’s sex. It never would have crossed my mind that something could be wrong because up to now everything had been going smoothly.
When the sonologist started doing the scan she kept on asking me the due date. You could see how the expression on her face was changing. Finally she said that the baby was behind in weight and growth so she was going to call someone else to have a look. If only I knew that I was on a rollercoaster ride that was not going to end for a long time.
The second sonologist comes in and says the same thing that the baby was behind 2 weeks in growth and weight. I didn’t know what this meant, I didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing, I felt they had just dropped a bucked of cold water on top of me. When I started to cry the sonologist said to come back on the Monday so the Obstetrician/Gynaecologist could do another ultrasound and discuss the findings with us. So we had to wait the whole weekend to know or even understand what was going on. I felt that some one had just stabbed me in between my ribs; it was like a cold feeling all over my body. I had no idea how to cope with this feeling; this was not explained or covered in any of the books I had read. I kept on asking my self for answers and I couldn’t come up with anything. I felt that someone had taken my breath away. That weekend was my first time in hell.
Finally it was Monday and we want back to the clinic. The Obstetrician/Gynaecologist explained to us that when I had the 12 week ultrasound they had written the wrong due date on the report (29th September 2008) that is why the sonologists were so concerned. He did confirm that the growth was behind one week which could simply mean that it was a small baby but he also discovered that the left kidney was a duplex kidney therefore he believed that we should consider having amniocentesis done because even though our baby could simply be a small baby but the combination of all these three findings he was suspicious that the baby could have a syndrome even though the 1st Trimester Combined Screen risk assessment of Down syndrome results were reassuring.
Amniocentesis is done by inserting a large needle in to the mother’s belly through the placenta to extract a sample of the amniotic fluid. An ultrasound is done at the same time to ensure that the needle does not touch the baby. There is a 5% risk in having a miscarriage.
With the sample they can check for chromosomal abnormalities and determine the sex 100%.
We had to make the decision quickly because the results would take 10 days to come back with a complete answer and if I was to decide to terminate I had to do it before 22 weeks.
As you can imagine we had been hit again and this time we had to make a decision that could affect our baby.
We decided to have the test done and discussed what to do if the test did not come clear.
We were able to pay an extra fee to get some of the major chromosomal abnormalities which is called FISH analysis within 24 - 48 hours.
Two days later we received a call to advise us that the ‘FISH Analysis Result’ had come back and that we would need to come and pick it up because they could not give us the results over the phone.
The results had come back clear of ‘down syndrome’ and couple of other syndromes that I haven’t heard of in my life. It also told us that our baby was a girl and we had decided years ago that if it was a girl she would be called Cecilia.
You can’t imagine how happy I was, I felt that everything was going to be ok and there was nothing wrong with our baby. How wrong was I, if only I knew what I know now, I would have been more prepared.
The final results came back and they were clear for all the chromosomes they check but when the specialist did the ultrasound again he discovered that Cecilia had a borderline cerebral ventricular dilation and cardiomegaly with a small pericardial effusion on the right side. He advised us that he was suspicious of a non-chromosomal/syndromal anomaly therefore he was going to refer us to the Fetal Diagnostic Unit at Monash Medical Centre for a second opinion.
At this point I wasn’t sure what to think or feel. On one side all the tests were coming back with positive results, my GP was telling me that I had nothing to worry about because lots of people live their entire life with one kidney but the Obstetrician was sending us for a second opinion.
Why wasn’t everything going smoothly and easy? All my friends that had pregnancies or that were pregnant were fine, why this had to happen to me. I thought I had done all the right things. I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t drink, I exercise and try to have a healthy diet. I just felt the whole world had collapsed on top of my shoulders. My perfect world was breaking.
I was felling lost and there were no books or no one to guide me. I kept on asking my self why they don’t tell you about these things before you get pregnant. Why isn’t this part of the hospital visit or/and first pregnancy visits to the GP? Why do they talk to you in Medical language instead of plain English? How am I suppose to understand what ‘FISH analysis’, cardiomegaly with a small pericardial effusion on the right side, increased cardiothoracic ratio is suppose to mean?
I was lucky that one of the main things that I do in my job is retain information so I would try to remember the terminology they would used so I could do a Google search on the Internet, which it wasn’t always a good idea because I found way to much information and I didn’t know what was relevant to our case or not.
I can tell you that I was petrified, I no longer knew if I wanted to keep on going ahead with this pregnancy, if it was worth it or not. I was too scared to share my feelings with anyone because I thought they would judge me and think that I was a horrible person and didn’t disserve to be a mother.
For 22 days I had to carry all these contradicting feelings, work full time, keep my pregnancy going like everything was ok before I had my first appointment at Monash Medical Centre. I was back in hell for my second visit.
Everything seemed to be going well; I had no morning sickness, no crazy cravings, or heartburns. I just felt hungry all the time and ate anything that I could.
The truth is to be said, I didn’t enjoy being pregnant. I felt tired all the time, fat, restless, without energy, bloated, invaded, having to get up in the middle of night 5 times, not able to sleep properly, my body not being my body, the list is endless. I was really looking forward to giving birth; I wanted the months to fly. Now I know that not enjoying being pregnant has nothing to do on how much you love that little person inside you. Only I know how much I love Cecilia and that I have done everything in my power for her to be happy.
At my 12 weeks ultrasound everything appeared to be fine and they told me I was due on 4th October. So far I had three different dates!!
We were really excited when my 20 week ultrasound had come up. We really wanted to know the baby’s sex. It never would have crossed my mind that something could be wrong because up to now everything had been going smoothly.
When the sonologist started doing the scan she kept on asking me the due date. You could see how the expression on her face was changing. Finally she said that the baby was behind in weight and growth so she was going to call someone else to have a look. If only I knew that I was on a rollercoaster ride that was not going to end for a long time.
The second sonologist comes in and says the same thing that the baby was behind 2 weeks in growth and weight. I didn’t know what this meant, I didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing, I felt they had just dropped a bucked of cold water on top of me. When I started to cry the sonologist said to come back on the Monday so the Obstetrician/Gynaecologist could do another ultrasound and discuss the findings with us. So we had to wait the whole weekend to know or even understand what was going on. I felt that some one had just stabbed me in between my ribs; it was like a cold feeling all over my body. I had no idea how to cope with this feeling; this was not explained or covered in any of the books I had read. I kept on asking my self for answers and I couldn’t come up with anything. I felt that someone had taken my breath away. That weekend was my first time in hell.
Finally it was Monday and we want back to the clinic. The Obstetrician/Gynaecologist explained to us that when I had the 12 week ultrasound they had written the wrong due date on the report (29th September 2008) that is why the sonologists were so concerned. He did confirm that the growth was behind one week which could simply mean that it was a small baby but he also discovered that the left kidney was a duplex kidney therefore he believed that we should consider having amniocentesis done because even though our baby could simply be a small baby but the combination of all these three findings he was suspicious that the baby could have a syndrome even though the 1st Trimester Combined Screen risk assessment of Down syndrome results were reassuring.
Amniocentesis is done by inserting a large needle in to the mother’s belly through the placenta to extract a sample of the amniotic fluid. An ultrasound is done at the same time to ensure that the needle does not touch the baby. There is a 5% risk in having a miscarriage.
With the sample they can check for chromosomal abnormalities and determine the sex 100%.
We had to make the decision quickly because the results would take 10 days to come back with a complete answer and if I was to decide to terminate I had to do it before 22 weeks.
As you can imagine we had been hit again and this time we had to make a decision that could affect our baby.
We decided to have the test done and discussed what to do if the test did not come clear.
We were able to pay an extra fee to get some of the major chromosomal abnormalities which is called FISH analysis within 24 - 48 hours.
Two days later we received a call to advise us that the ‘FISH Analysis Result’ had come back and that we would need to come and pick it up because they could not give us the results over the phone.
The results had come back clear of ‘down syndrome’ and couple of other syndromes that I haven’t heard of in my life. It also told us that our baby was a girl and we had decided years ago that if it was a girl she would be called Cecilia.
You can’t imagine how happy I was, I felt that everything was going to be ok and there was nothing wrong with our baby. How wrong was I, if only I knew what I know now, I would have been more prepared.
The final results came back and they were clear for all the chromosomes they check but when the specialist did the ultrasound again he discovered that Cecilia had a borderline cerebral ventricular dilation and cardiomegaly with a small pericardial effusion on the right side. He advised us that he was suspicious of a non-chromosomal/syndromal anomaly therefore he was going to refer us to the Fetal Diagnostic Unit at Monash Medical Centre for a second opinion.
At this point I wasn’t sure what to think or feel. On one side all the tests were coming back with positive results, my GP was telling me that I had nothing to worry about because lots of people live their entire life with one kidney but the Obstetrician was sending us for a second opinion.
Why wasn’t everything going smoothly and easy? All my friends that had pregnancies or that were pregnant were fine, why this had to happen to me. I thought I had done all the right things. I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t drink, I exercise and try to have a healthy diet. I just felt the whole world had collapsed on top of my shoulders. My perfect world was breaking.
I was felling lost and there were no books or no one to guide me. I kept on asking my self why they don’t tell you about these things before you get pregnant. Why isn’t this part of the hospital visit or/and first pregnancy visits to the GP? Why do they talk to you in Medical language instead of plain English? How am I suppose to understand what ‘FISH analysis’, cardiomegaly with a small pericardial effusion on the right side, increased cardiothoracic ratio is suppose to mean?
I was lucky that one of the main things that I do in my job is retain information so I would try to remember the terminology they would used so I could do a Google search on the Internet, which it wasn’t always a good idea because I found way to much information and I didn’t know what was relevant to our case or not.
I can tell you that I was petrified, I no longer knew if I wanted to keep on going ahead with this pregnancy, if it was worth it or not. I was too scared to share my feelings with anyone because I thought they would judge me and think that I was a horrible person and didn’t disserve to be a mother.
For 22 days I had to carry all these contradicting feelings, work full time, keep my pregnancy going like everything was ok before I had my first appointment at Monash Medical Centre. I was back in hell for my second visit.
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